Wednesday, July 15, 2009

That was quick?!

I was thinking of writing a story and I'll start it here if it's okay.Remember it is my story so you can read it but if it gets good enough to share please ask before you do so or just link to this page.None of the characters are real except for in my head and hopefully in yours when you read it so no one be thinking they are important enough to be featured although some of you may have contributed.I always liked King books (except for the tommyknockers god damn that thing was 500 pages too long at least!) and I'm not sure if I want to write a story all the way out thus the parts.I have no schedule either but will try to keep it moving. It will be several parts and I'm not sure what it is about but I know how it ends......i think.....
He had heard it a thousand times before, His father and mother at it again. You usually hear how one parent or the other is in the right, well that wasn't the case with his situation. As far as he was concerned both his parents were nuts. Dad was a pothead and a boozer, he always started out the life of the party laughing and joking and he was funny that was for sure. After a day or so of the party character his mask changed into someone no one would ever want to party with God what a complete asshole.That asshole was at this very moment in the front room jumping up and down to accent each syllable as he screamed his thoughts on how the word please was to be said when addressing him.His mother a semi-sweet lady who always came off as only half real to him,stood with her arms folded, face looking like she was bored,watching the asshole make his scene.When the asshole was finished she turned walked over to the coffee table, picked up a brass clock that had been her fathers and proceeded to throw the timepiece directly at asshole's .....well his head."You fuckin' alcoholic go smoke some more green you loser you can't even form a complete thought anymore much less a hard one, why I even put up with you is a fuckin' mystery the Lord himself could not solve!" Now his mother was not a drug user or an abuser of any type of narcotic she was a... well how to put it politely...she was a lunatic.God was the way. The lord would show the path.Jesus is lord. All that religious bull-shit that he never could understand. All that church ever meant to him was he was going to be bored to death for three hours and have to lip-sync for 30 minutes after that.Except that his mother didn't seem to think god had a problem with a person finding fault with everything and everyone at all times.Sure she would appear to be a sweet middle aged woman to those who weren't trapped in her lair, but it was all an act she was mean and crazy.Between the two he didn't stand a chance. He had to get out and today was the day to do it. He threw all his favorite clothes in a duffel bag,grabbed his i pod and cell phone and hoped out his bedroom window the way he had done a thousand times before only this time he would not be sneaking back in before the servant of God herself was waking him up to pray and eat toast. He knew where he was going.California where it was always warm and they welcomed the runaways.Where you lived on the streets like it was a party at a friends house whose parents were never coming home.That was how it was until you got famous.He knew He was destined to be known for something he could just feel it what it was he didn't know yet, no real talent had made itself clear.That was only because of his loser parents they were keeping him from realizing his destiny. Well not anymore.He walked to the Quick-Stop, spent $6.79 on a pack of smokes and a couple candy bars and headed for Highway 80 WEST yea 'go west young man' he whispered with a grin.Thumb out walking backwards a black Ford pickup stopped to give a ride to a stranger. Only 20 minutes and he had a ride already yea this was his destiny all right.The guy motioned for him to get in the cab.Cool a warm ride too. Once inside the man peeled off back onto the road.'What's your name?' the man asked."Jeorge, what's yours, and thanks for the ride." "I'm Night, or Zack witch ever you prefer and your very welcome Jeorge" The man seemed familiar for some reason, did he know him? Nah just tired.They drove for about 30 minutes and Jeorge began to doze off the cab of the truck was so warm and he felt drained from the drama at home.He drifted off to sleep.
Eyes snapped open. What! Who!? Jeorge felt a pressure around his neck.The pain was terrible. The weight of a grown man held him so that he could not move or breathe. No wait he was being strangled, he could make out Night's face, a slight smile formed by his lips."This is not funny" Jeorge thought "why is he smiling?" Then he could hear someone speaking it was a whisper and a scream at the same time."Go on, fight it! Keep fighting, that's it."He could see Night's lips forming the words the grin unchanging and his eyes like lit up glass marbles. As Jeorge saw his vision fade and he fought to take another breath he wondered what was so funny then he realized what he would be known for and it was not the way he had planned....not at all...Suddenly there was a white flash. Suzan had been looking forward to making this dinner all week. "You would burn water" he said. She would show him......
To be continued....

Suzan had been looking forward to making this dinner all week. "You would burn water" he said. She would show him......Hey! It was right here in this spot she had met him.He had been standing in front of the onions cussing at them.It looked like he was giving them a coach's rant before the big game."Which one of you is ready to be my dinner you little bastards?! You? Your just a scrawny little shit, you will never do. How about you fat-ass?Oh yes you'll do just fine now get in the fucking basket!" She had burst out laughing so hard she thought she may have even pee'd her pants a little.He turned quickly and looked at her with those wonderful eyes.Even his hard stare could not diminish the way she melted under his gaze.Love at first sight, she giggled a little at the thought, yes love at first sight.They kept each other company through the rest of their food shopping excursion.He had made the most wonderful chicken dish that night,what was it called? Something French, she remembered the way he had held her after dinner, it was as if they had known each other for years.That was three months ago. She had been promising to cook for him but some issue at her work or his had always seemed to kill their plans.Not tonight. Tonight was the night for sure, oh yes the night for more than just dinner.She couldn't wait. It was going to be perfect! She carried the bags of food upstairs and put them on her counter top.Filled a pot with water and set it to boil.She could not believe how happy she was.Not just because of dinner but all the time.Just thinking of him brought a smile to her face.She went in and changed clothes and put the pasta into the boiling water.Knock knock.That couldn't be him already! Oh he must have gotten off early like he had said.She rushed to the door and swung it open to give him a nice wet kiss. A hand reached up and covered her face pushing her back into the apartment.She had gotten a glimpse of him, who was he?The answer was right there but she couldn't quite grab it, so familiar who..she felt a jolt to her head and she lost her balance falling to the floor.She was face down and there was a terrible weight on her back, she could not get her breath.The intruder spoke, the voice was like a child's whisper being played at 120 decibels,"Scream, Scream you bitch, DO IT! scream or I'll rape you too." She thought she must be dreaming.Scream? His fist hit her in the back of her head, knocking her face into the hardwood floor and three of her teeth went bouncing across the floor like they were little white rubber balls.Her screams were not out of thought,they were out of terror she felt a sharp sting in her back then another.Oh my god, he was stabbing her! The stinging wounds that spread across her back were accompanied by what sounded like ripping paper.She thought as she screamed 'the pasta it is going to burn, he was right.' As she fought to stay conscious through the horrible pain her last thought was that she had never got the chance to be with him and as her heart broke it also stopped.A bright flash. God he hated driving in this fucking traffic."Everyone of these cars is being driven by a complete fucking moron, I wish I had a gun." he said to no one.Slamming his foot down on the gas hard he cut in front of the black pickup that had been driving in his blind spot for a mile now."Fuck you asshole!" He said as he cut across, missing the trucks bumper by inches."Ha ha jerk off what cha gonna do now shit head?" He laughed and took a quick look at his handsome face in the rear view mirror.SLAM! his car jerked forward as the truck hit him with what seemed impossible force."What the fuck? Oh you are dead!" he screamed. He looked at the driver in the rear view. Hey! he knew that guy! It was..
to be continued....

Hey he knew that guy! It was the feltcher he'd seen at the coffee shop earlier that morning. He had caught that dude checking him out, fucking faggot. He was gonna tear that mother fucker to shreds. He slammed on the brakes and the pickup hit him again. He was going to jump out and rush the guy but the second impact was so hard that he was disoriented for a couple of seconds. he reached for the handle but missed because his car door was opening already." How the fuck could anyone move that fast?" he thought. A hand grabbed him by the throat and lifted him out of the seat. "Hello asshole, my name is Night. What's yours?He thought to himself "This has got to be a dream, I don't get my ass kicked, I kick-ass. I just gotta wake up from this fucked up dream.""I SAID WHAT'S YOUR NAME FUCKER!" The hand around his throat tightened, "just a fucked up dream he thought again, wake up,wake up dumbass. He could only mouth the word "Doug" there was not enough air in him to actually make a sound. "Dung? Well I was going to do this later Dung but you seem to like things to be done when you want them done, so be it." The voice how did he make it do that? It was like the voice was in his own head and it was so fucking loud! No more Italian food before bed this was the worst nightmare ever! A brief glint of steel and a sound like someone hitting a home-run. CRACK! Doug felt himself falling and then hitting the road he opened his eyes and thought he could see those little lane markers, they were white though, these were red,wait...blood... his eyes were clouded by blood. Doug thought "That's it nobody beats the hell outta me without knowing they were in a fight. He tried to get up ,nothing happened, He couldn't move! His eyes looked up and he saw that motherfucker, a crescent wrench in his hand and no expression on his face. He moved towards Doug quickly. Then another home run. CRACK! And another.CRACK! Doug could feel each blow. Jesus the pain! how could anything hurt so fucking bad? Among the sound of car horns, screams and yelling, Doug could hear his own voice just a dream,CRACK! just a dream,CRACK! Beat up by a faggot and never even got a punch in, that was the last thought Doug had as he felt his skull cave in.A white flash. He couldn't wait to see the ocean. He loved the trips they took on weekends.It was fun to be with his mom and dad at the same time.

He couldn't wait to see the ocean. He loved trips they took on weekends it was fun to be with his mom and dad at the same time. During the week Mom and Dad worked a lot and they did not get the opportunity to spend much time all together. As the car came over a rise he heard his father say "Well there it is." Donnie sat up in his seat and looked out the window. WoW! It was awesome! He could see the waves crashing on the sand. He couldn't wait to start collecting shells. They drove about another mile and his Dad pulled the car into an almost empty lot. "We're here" said his mother "Donnie, you grab the blanket and the towels, I'll grab the cooler." "And I, will grab the umbrella and that damned chair!" said his father. "Let's go, we gotta scout good locations!" They followed a path towards the crashing waves his dad skipping and acting silly the whole way as Donnie and his mom looked at each other and laughed. They found a spot near some rocks."I proclaim this claim to be claimed!" His father announced to the seagulls, and they shrieked back at him their understanding it seemed. Donnie could feel the warm sand through his sandals. He spread the blanket out on the sand. His mom open the cooler handed him a soda and said "Here, I know you want to go look for shells right away, take this with you and remember what we talked about those waves can be very dangerous". "Cool! I'll be careful.Promise. When is lunch?"Donnie asked. "Soon, you have about half an hour"mom responded. Donnie looked over at his dad, he was struggling with a beach chair cussing at it softly. "Do you want to come with me dad?" His dad looked up from the chair he had been damning and smiled "After lunch kiddo, then I will show you some of my famous shell gathering techniques! Known throughout the world! The WORLD I say!" Laughing Donnie, soda in hand, grabbed his bucket and headed towards the crashing waves. "This was awesome, the real ocean not some cheesy lagoon, the real ocean." He thought. As he walked just out of the reach of the water that raced up the shore with each swell, a dog suddenly appeared in front of him. "Oh, hi dog" he said. A man came walking after the dog. "Jaz, come here boy." said the man."Cool dog" Donnie told the man."Thanks, cool shells" the man said glancing into Donnie's bucket."You out here all by yourself?" Donnie felt scared for just a second but as soon as he felt it the feeling passed.This guy didn't seem dangerous, in fact he seemed familiar for some reason."No my mom and dad are just around those rocks." Oh, okay" the man said "just checking, it could be dangerous for a kid to be out here alone.I will leave you to your hunting good sir, be careful of the waves though, they can pull you out into the ocean before you know it." "Yea, my mom already warned me" Donnie replied."You have a very good mother then. See ya"and with that the man and his dog continued on down the shoreline.Donnie walked on sipping at his soda and picking up random shells that he found to his liking.His stomach growled. Lunch, it has been a half an hour for sure by now, probably more, hope mom isn't worried.He started back towards the ridge of rocks where he knew sandwiches and potato salad were awaiting his arrival.As he came up on the familiar umbrella, beach chair,and blanket he could see his dad was still in his chair lounging but where was his mom?As he got closer something did not seem right.Why was his dad sleeping like that?It looked as if he was about to fall from his chair.As he got closer still a cold chill came over him, his dad,eyes looking towards the azure sky were lifeless, his throat cut open from one side to the other,drops of blood still falling onto the warm sand forming a lagoon under the damned beach chair.Donnie could not speak, it was as if his brain had been too overwhelmed and locked up.After a moment he thought "MOM!" Where was his mom?! He went quickly up the path towards the car.Past a pink sandal without even noticing it, starting to run now.... There it was, the car! And there she was, his mother, lying next to the drivers side door face down.The ground, how is she doing that? The ground is so hot it must be burning her face.As he came up on her body he could see another lagoon had formed under her just like dad.No! NO! NONOOOO! no, this can't be happening...it can't....he turned his mothers body over, she was not staring at the sky something had destroyed the spot where her eyes had been. All he could see was a mouth open as if to scream and a nose that seemed to bend at a strange angle.no no..no..no..no..no..no over and over his sorrow so deep,his loss so complete that his mind could not handle the events that had been presented to it. Donnie hardly heard the voice, like a screaming child's whisper "Thanks for the info kid, as a reward this will go quick" And he hardly felt the hand grab his hair at the top of his head and pull straight up. With one left to right motion the number of throats cut on the beach that day rose to two.As the blood pumped from the wound, the seagulls continued their annoying shrieking, and his body hit the ground next to what had once been his mom,the pain brought about by the knife was nothing compared to the pain of losing his mom and dad and it continued no..noo..no..no no..no until the spark that was Donnie was all gone.A white flash.
They had him.That fucking wacko. 'I hope he resists arrest' Officer Guy Sadleson thought as he looked at the apartment.That sick fuck.He watched as his partner Tom slowly inched his way past the black pickup with the front bumper half falling off and the grill totally missing.Stupid son of a bitch. Who the hell kills a guy in the middle of the freeway during rush hour traffic? It had been a week since the murder and they had thought maybe the killer would get away."At least they had found him before he could do it again" Guy thought...incorrectly. A lesson would be taught today though, don't fuck with the police.God, he loved being a cop, the power, that had to be the best part, he loved the power.If he could just get his wife off his back about how dangerous it was.Maybe she would quit being so dramatic after she had the baby, man he hoped so.The call came over the radio, everyone was in position.Suddenly a figure came through the apartment door, it was him! "Hey pigs you found me! SO THE FUCK WHAT? Which one of ya is gonna slap the cuffs on? COME ON BITCHES I AIN"T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY I GOTTA GET ME A PUBLIC DEFENDER AND A CELL BEFORE ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN! HA HA HA!" "That fuckin' murdering bastard!" Guy thought and stood up without even thinking, his rage overtaking his training. Before anyone could even blink, a hand came up and fired a shot.Officer Guy Sadleson thought "My kid, i'll never get to meet him"and heard "Night one, pigs zero. Ha Ha Ha!" before the bullet bounced around in his head long enough to put him on the list of officers lost in the line of duty." A white flash.
This fuckin cell was small enough.Now they put a fuckin cop killing gimp in here with him too?Great, just fucking great. At least the guy didn't say much.Probably in too much pain The dude must look like swiss cheese under all those bandages."That's what happens when you shoot at cops and laugh, dumbass" Rich thought as he lay staring out of his cell watching his life go past him.He began to whistle."DON'T WHISTLE" said dumbass from the other bunk."FUCK YOU!" Rich spat back.
As soon as he said it he had a feeling maybe a lapse in good judgment had occurred...
to be continued..


Before Rich could get the next thought formed the dumb ass was upon him. Rich heard the dumb ass make a giggling sound,and felt a hand grab him by the back of his head.'It's like riding a roller coaster' he thought as he was picked up and brought down the weightless feeling turning into a torrent of pain as his head was smashed into the bowl of the metal toilet, blood piss and teeth were now the soup of the day in Rich's cell.Mixed with the pain Rich thought ' finally this fuckin' bullshit life is gonna be over' Each time Night smashed Rich's head into the bowl a loud 'RING' echoed through the hallways of the institution like the death knoll for jailbirds.By the time the guards reached the cell Rich's face resembled something that would be put on the coals at a weekend bar-b-cue.Three guards wrestled Night down, while a forth went to Rich. The guard vomited on Rich as he checked to see if there was a pulse.The last thing Rich thought was 'heaven smells like puke.' and the last thing anyone heard from Rich 'the ripster' Coal was a low whistle as his last breath passed through the jagged pieces of teeth still left in what vaguely resembled a mouth.A white flash.
Night opened his eyes "Fuck, still here" he thought as he looked at the metal door with the over sized mail slot in it.Those fuckers.I should haven't let that little puss on the freeway fuck up my plans.FUCK! What is the plan today? SIT HERE LIKE A FUCKIN VICTIM! god damn it it was the one thing he could not stand to be, a victim, weak. A sound of keys and his cell opened Night tried to get up, the restraints made it difficult.'Hello my son, How are you?' the entering figure asked. "I told you to get fucked, pawn of god." Night said in a loud whisper.'why does my voice sound like that' he thought.' Musta gotten my throat smashed when they pulled me off the bird boy' The father was used to such talk and paid it no attention as he continued to speak"it is time for your request' the father said quietly"I ain't fuckin hungry I said! now go away... go beat off while you read your bible, pawn!" "you must eat my son" "Oh yea I must eat so they can make sure I'm nice and healthy for tonight.Fuck them and fuck you!' "you should be asking the lord to forgive you, and............" 'Shut the fuck up i said!' And with that Night raised himself up from the bed as hard and fast as he could.The whole bed rising off the floor for a brief moment .It was, however impressive enough to send the father running out of the cell whimpering like a little puppy.Night knew what was coming and he didn't like it. it was like a long fucking nightmare, I must be losing my mind he thought This has got to be a bad fucking dream, something they put in the food to fuck with me mentally.This can't really be happening, he had forgotten all about that kid hitchhiking, it had been so much like a normal part of his being.The killing was much like breathing to him. How many more? No, fuck that, this was not happening! As the last day of Nights life went on he thought of the life he had led, abused they had said, anyone like him must have been abused, by a relative, sexually.Yea right,that wasn't it , he just liked killing there was no feeling like it, it was the only thing that made him feel anything. He never had much liked people he wasn't like them, he was different, better. They were only around for his use anyway.As the day ended he heard the guards coming down the long hallway.No not again he felt a horrible feeling swelling inside him soon it would begin again.The sound of a judge reading names came into his head, it had taken 30 minutes at least how many names could be read in 30 minutes?"And that's not all of them is it?"A screaming whisper said." Shut up!"Night scream-whispered back. The guards went through the routine. He felt he had been through it before but this time he heard himself start to wimper. Don't do it. Don't do it. He could not help himself he was starting to cry like a baby it was the worst feeling he had ever known, he was a victim and it was going to begin again. With who this time? He couldn't remember. How many names? He heard a chorus of voices like the screaming whispers of a hundred people.No! Not again! As he was wheeled to the room with the artificial white light he saw the faces of his victims relatives staring at him.They barely registered. His head was filled with the screaming whispers now.He knew what was coming, and it was not good. A man in a uniform said some words that were drowned out by whispers and a nurse swabbed his arm. Here we go again please let it end this time. Please! A needle entered his arm, someone in the observers area started clapping, and everything went dark. As soon as the light went out a flash of white and then what color? No color, it was not dark or light but it was very cold and then something filled his thoughts, it was not a voice it was more of a feeling, the feeling of being so very cold and alone, of being a victim, the feeling spoke to him without words."Well Night the next journey begins..... how are you liking it so far? Do you remember how the journey goes? Unfortunately.....for you........ it will become easier to remember the journey before as each passes.... I suspect you are not......feeling well...also...unfortunate.... for you since you aren't even close to dead yet..oh yes your heart has stopped......but your brain .....has not yet .... isn't it strange how the passage of time can change..... by the time you are dead you will have lived the last moments of all your victims so many times no man could ever count them. Now which victim do we add to the journey this time? Oh yes, Tom. But what is a name to you?" Night tried to speak but the horror and cold pain he felt were too great."Oh trying to speak how.....earthly..... of you. I can hear you........ there is no use for words here......you wonder what it is that punishes you..... I am what is......Love ..hate... fear... happiness...sadness all the things that make you what you truley are......I am all.....I suspect the answer does not comfort you as it does some....that...is a circumstance of your own making......now continue your journey...a journey you created...we will meet again....many,many times and then when it is done your path will be chosen by me....again very likely to be unfortunate for you....off you go.......Night had enough time to feel the cold give way to plain fear and a white flash.He was in line at the grocery store, what the hell? why didn't they open another lane! Didn't they know there was a naked girl waiting in his bed!? A man came in the front entrance he looked distant and vaguely familiar, suddenly the man turned and came straight at him. As the man came closer he pulled a knife from his waste band. Before Tom could move or even think to, the man had plunged the knife into his chest, he could not take a breath it felt like a hot poker had been stuck into him a vision of the beautiful woman who was waiting for him at home the last thought he had before his heart gave in to the metal that had plunged through it. A white flash........the journey had begun again.A reporter stands out side the state prison surrounded by people with signs and banners shouting and pushing each other."We now have official word. Zack 'Night' Peterson was pronounced dead at 12:08 am. Peterson was convicted 12 years ago of multiple murders.A Police spokesman told us earlier they will never know exactly how many fell victim to Peterson's sick need to kill. Let's get some reaction to the execution from some of the people here.Yes, what are your feelings on Peterson's execution tonight?" An overwieght bald man yelled into the reporter's mike"THAT SON OF A BITCH SHOULDA GOT WAY WORSE IF YOU ASK ME! THAT LETHAL INJECTION IS TOO FUCKING QUICK!" A loud roar of approval mixed with boos came form the crowd... a white flash......

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Obama Apple Seed

I won't claim to be a political guru. I am smart enough to know what I don't know much about. I don't have time to listen to all the information on all the issues. Part of me thinks the government makes sure they keep us busy in order to assure we don't have time to pay too much attention. If we were to have too much time on our hands and start learning exactly how inept, greedy and stupid or leadership was we would also have time to protest about it.The way it is now even if we get good and pissed who has time to even write a letter much less attend any type of demonstration?
Despite my ignorance on some of the workings of the political system I have observed some things. One of those things is that when a person is running for the position of president they say things, make promises and have lofty goals. If it is a run for second term the promises are usually a bit more subdued there is a reason for that I think. When someone is running for the office the first time no matter how old and wise they are, they are ignorant. There really is no way they could know what they can achieve while in office because they don't know what is in store for them. I have always accepted this fact and taken any political promises for what they are worth....luck. My dad has always said "the president has very little power" I agree with that mostly. The president has selective power, there are times and issues in which the president is the most powerful person you can find find involved. Then there are times when he is nothing more than a bouncer, allowing certain people into the party and keeping others outside and when the party goers start getting rowdy he can advise them to chill or get their asses kicked out. It seems the current commander and chief is getting a thumbs down from a lot of people these days.He is accused of not following through on promises, making an about face on others and not even trying to address some issues at all.
I think maybe some of these people are not taking into account the presidents ignorance before taking office. Another reason for the presidents lack of desired results could be because he had faith. He had faith that the people who he had to deal with on these issues were people who had some common sense, he was mistaken. Many of the people who must co-operate on the change we would like to see happen, are stupid. Many have their own agenda and change does not help them move towards their own desired result.Some are stuck in the old ways of doing things and nothing can make them do it different. In your daily dealings with people you come across people who do things in the slowest way possible, right? You come across people who couldn't figure out how to assemble a sandwich, right? You come across people who wouldn't do things different if you cut of both arms and a leg, am I right about that? Well those are the same kind of people we are talking about. I have said this before THE SAME PEOPLE YOU DEAL WITH IN YOUR LIFE EXIST EVERYWHERE. They look different, dress different and even speak a different language maybe but the same types of people are everywhere. There is not a special type of attitude that people who work in government have, that is just people's incorrect perception. Trying to force this perception into being reality is another part of the problem.
The other thing that bothers me a lot is the lack of patience. Who in their right mind thinks that YEARS of our country being run into the ground can be reversed at a snap of the fingers? What takes years to tear down, will take that many years, at least, to repair in most cases. What I have seen is a definitive change in direction. Even on issues that have not been effected at all, there has been positive dialog started. Sometimes all you can do is plant a seed and wait for it to grow into responsible and progressive change. Obama has been planting seeds like crazy. He has said things that you would never imagine coming out of the mouth of a president. Even if those statements do not result in a instant result, the seed has been planted.
Is Obama perfect? Um, no he isn't he is still a politician but then again who is being realistic to expect him to be ideal? I mean after all the presidents we have had leading our country shouldn't we be a bit more intelligent in what we expect? It seems foolish to complain about the exact same types of things that have been said of every previous president, and then act as though we have been betrayed.I don't think we have been betrayed by anything but our own unreasonable expectations in most cases. It is true, you reap what you sow but you don't plant corn on a Wednesday and eat it on Friday. It takes some responsible actions to care for your crops first, like getting rid of those pesky republicans....I mean weeds.

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